at the beginning

this is the best place to start. this post will serve more as a reminder to myself, an eloquent to-do list. this is what is happening; i am getting behind on my readings, because i keep telling myself i will read my assigned literature readings for class in the 30 minutes before my sleeps. and finally, one week into my condensed summer semester, i realize that this will not suffice. i will barely make it through the three novels i have to read in 3 weeks if i do it that way. i guess i will have to set aside reading time every day. i am looking forward to reading on the road by jack kerouac but some of the short stories that are required are so boring to read. and then i have to make sense of it, and i don't want to because i don't want to kill it. reading can be a chore. and i love reading to death.

i had a consultation with a potential business coach and yes, i am going to do it! i'm super excited. it feels right, and it resonates with me on so many different levels. throughout my work these last 2 years, i've had the oppertunity to meet many different people doing many different things. and many of them have asked to work with me, to collaberate with me, and have humbly offered their services to me, and while i am honored to be the recipient to these kind gestures, i have never followed through. i am really picky when it comes to what i allow into my life. i am open and free and wide and giving when it comes to you. i will give you readings. i will love you. i will do what you want. i will make your life rich and empowering. and its not to say that i am a skeptic, but i guess i am "hard to impress", even in the realms of spirituality, which seems strange given that what i do is give spiritual readings. and there have been people who have come into my life and said "i can make you huge if you follow my lead" - perhaps not in those words preciesly- but more or less. and i never fell for it. it never convinced me. because there are a few things i knwo for sure about my life, and my future, and one of them is what my guide told me. she said "Malavika, your successes will come from your own work. You will not be carried into fame and fortune on the back of another individual. You must know this." and those words ring so true to me that i make my own good lucky, and i experience my own miracles.

and a business coach is not someone making me successful. she calls herself "robin" to my "batman" and i love that connection. this feels so right on so many different levels and it just resonates so deeply within me, and i am thrilled to take this next step.

a lady i met the other day requested an exchange with me - where i give her a reading in exchange for her services to me. she is a foot reflexologist, and i had a brief session with her yesterday and i did enjoy it. probably because i have a foot fetish and i believe there is nothing more comforting than having my feet held. But I'm strange.
I don't accept many exchanges in my work - mostly because it's about finding a balance and i have to weigh out the pros and cons. do i even want their service? will it enrich my life? is it equivelent to a reading? there are many questions, but i like this lady and i like my feet being touched.

but i think i will give my mom the reflexology session as a mothers day part 3, gift. she likes people touching her feet too.


i feel as though i am transforming. i have class tonight at 7.

in the end i want to be standing at the beginning with you.